Friends and non Odinists...

[Teufelhunden]

I have alsays been somewhat of a solitary person, in truth I can go days without human contact and be happy as a clam lol.I have alwayse been very self reliant. I have come to notice though that outside the military that increasingly I seem to have less and less in comon with non Heathens. I had and to a lesser extent now a friend that is in the NAVY, he is an Aviation Ordinance specialist "AO", a country boy whom my wife and I hit it off really well with, we woulg go hunting, shooting and were really good buds. But, as time went on we just seem to grow apart for what ever reason, and it seemed to happen when I came back from Winter nights celebration in California. They seemed to be ok with the fact I am Heathen, and he would actually be a pretty great heathen himself, but was raised Catholic. I was wondering if anyone else has had the same situation, that as you awaken more that you seem to have less in comon with people you previously got on really well with? This especially goes for my military brothers, do you not seem to have the same connection with others that you did while in? and as you awaken more seem to walk further away from the path of the non heathen world, and not seem to hold the same trust for people that you once would? I seem to think that I am walking down a path that they can not follow, and may be it is what I am suppose to do, walk this path myself, which is ok as it is not an easy one.
Just thinkin out loud I guess.
Your thoughts?
Teufelhunden

[Katia]

I only have a handful of close friends, and those people I would trust with my life. The truth is, if you don't feel like you can be yourself around someone (and your faith is a major part of who you are), then they aren't your true friend. You don't have to be of the same faith, actually none of my closest friends are Odinists (well, besides my hubby of course.. that goes without saying), but we have a deep respect for each other and each other's beliefs. My friend will come to my children's naming ceremonies and even partake in the ceremonial aspects, and all the same I will go to her kids' baptisms (as much as it bothered me, hehe). It's all about respect.

Now I have many acquaintances, people I have fun and hang around with, but these friendships stay on a superficial level most of the time.

[Schwarzesonne]

I’ve found much the same to be true in my life. The more my Heathenry progresses, the fewer non-Heathen friends I have. This is sort of a “to-be-expected” sort of thing in my mind, though. Less and less do we share similar values and interests—those very things that usually bind friendships in the first place!

On the other hand the set of values and priorities that I’ve learnt have made more increasingly respected and valued in the workplace, in my family life, and within my every-growing circle of Heathen friends/contacts. So the blessings occur where they really count!

[Sigurd]

I'm almost entirely solitary. I do hang about with my mates here, but nothing is like my best friend. With my best friend I can talk about religion, worldview, music, women, whatever. And we have lots of fun, etc. Damn I miss my best friend. :( I really have few people "in flesh and bone" to talk to. I get on fine with the people at Halls, but I'm not sure whether we're like sharing common values and everything. (heavily doubt it).
All my heathendom has basically built upon myself; good, with some assistance from especially my grandfather. Miss my family too. :(
Something I hate about having to live so many different lives. I'm close to getting the feeling that I reinvent myself everyday; I am myself of course, but out of nature I behave differently depending on where I am. I am a totally different person up here at studying that when I am at home. It's not due to the lack of acceptance, its just...a totally different atmosphere whereever you go.

More or less, I can say that I have only few people whom I would entrust my life with.
And my non-Heathen friends?!
Well, most of them don't even know who Odin is!
Can't see I've seen a tru Heathen arround in sometime, you only see the fluffs. :rolleyes:

[sigrun_odinsdottir]

The only Odinists that I talk to are you people and a few other online friends. I was in a Kindred, once, but there is bad blood between us (one of the members got into neo-nazi stuff and I'm just not going to go there). All of my friends here in CT are non-Heathens, most of them don't even know who Odin is, or what Asatru is ("Asatru!" "Gesundheit!" LOL), not that I hide my faith, but it just doesn't really come up. I have two Pagan-leaning friends who are into runes, and then I have an odd assortment of mixed nuts, two of my friends are even Bible-thumping Catholics. So it's hard...... but I persevere.....

[attak53]

I find that it is hard to have friends outside the faith. I only have a few friends that I would consider extremely close that are outside the faith and even of those most believe in some kind of (I guess this would be the right word) Pagan faith so they tend to have an understanding of what I believe in, I don't think any are strong Christians (they all left me a long time ago). But I agree with you Tuef, when I was in the military it seemed that my religious preference didn't matter as much to my friends but I think it was because we had the bond of the service and that was our common link, especially being in a unit such as the 75th which is a tight brotherhood similiar to what I have found here.

[aud_friggsdottir]

I am sorta like Schwarzesonne, as I progress I tend to have fewer non-heathen friends. I have tons of "acquaintances" that come from all sorts of backgrounds, especially in the home schooling community. I also have some folk that are in our Folk Community that aren't "Odinist" but are NOT christian that are VERY close friends...like Katia have come to our naming ceremonies and attended Blotar, etc...

I am friendly to everyone and am really laid back regarding acquaintances, but I really only find a real friendship bond with my Hearth Sisters and Brother and my OR Sisters and Brothers.

FFF
Kathy

[texas heathen]

I have found since childhood that I can not be friends with most people ( maybe cause for me friendship means a lot more than for most people) I have always had maybe two or three friends and a few more aquantinces. I am pretty laid back especially since I am older and more accepting and get along with most people, I look for what we have in common more than what we don't. I do understand what you are saying though, it is not that I have less friends now just that I am finding a "home" amongst the Odinist community. So for me I am finding I have more friends!
FFF/HTR
Clif AOR

[valaskjalf]

Well I have a few friends around my age(17) But we don't see each other much, They wouldn't know who Odin was or anything, They'd probably laugh, They're to busy getting caught up in *****, violence and alchole.

But I do have a few GOOD friends but we don't see each other much either, But when we do its excellent, And my casual friends are Heathens but are in there late 20's with a new born kids(Sol) Who is quite the cutest!

I am more than less, A solitary person, You do need friends whether they don't belong to your faith or not.

But for me - I just stick to people I know are good people, I've had a lot of trouble with old friends in the past (But there past will soon catch up with them *Sharpens battle axe* =-P )


Waes Hael!

[beowulf]

Outside of the good Folk in my kindred I know no Heathens. My wife is non-religious, most everyone else I know are at least nominally christian, that to me is no obstacle so long as they do not force it upon me.

[runemight18]

Most of my close friends are either Heathen or some sort of Pagan faith. Fortunately I am blessed with a pretty strong Heathen community here in Tampa Bay. There are 4 different kindreds here, Thrudr frith Sigrun Kindred (mine), Osprey Bay Kindred, Kindred Folk of the Odinist Fellowship, and Sunnaland Folk. Not to mention several other kindreds in neighboring cities. We get together regularly for fellowship and rites. Tonight several of us are going to a goth club together. Then I have my co-workers that for the most part are either Christian or non-religious. I wouldnt say I am open with my faith at work. In the sense that I don't advertise it. But if someone asks I'll share it with them.

Alaf Sal Fena,

Danok nacht ulf, Harugari, Thrudr frith Sigrun Kindred

[Don vonMilikowski]

Catagories of friends.....

I have few friends, but hella chums.

My friends are people I would allow around my children, mostly people I have known a long time or people I would trust with my life. I personally do not care what religion some of my friends are, it is their choice, their life, they feel the same about me. I am open to the world about who and what I am. My friends love me no matter what, as I them. Majority are from when I was in school. different "clubs" I am with, They HAVE to be some sort of role model, because I only allow the BEST to be around my kids. ;)

My chums are usually people I play in bands with (I am a roving bassist, do a lot of fill work), people that meet me at local drinking holes, people to play pool with, different dancers from clubs :rolleyes: , just people to hang out with, even some cats from work.

I like people for who they are, I am an elitist when it comes to who I allow at my table, but I like people for all different reasons. Just because someone is a Heathen does not mean they fit into my personal standards of life, then again it is how to judge someone, by their deeds. Some people that have known me for years have never been to my house..... I like to keep it that way. :yes:

[aud_friggsdottir]

Hail Don!




My friends are people I would allow around my children

Ahhh...I forgot to mention this...We are EXACTLY the same way. But then I think most parents (ones that I know anyway) are. Since we consider Hearth members Family (hence Hearth), we are very choosy when it comes to members as well. Each of our Hearth members are solid...I would rather have 10 solid Folk then 20 flimsy, "I will pay my dues and show up once in a while, but don't expect me to stretch and actually do something" folk. Wow that was a mouthful. :lol:

Anyway...
FFF
Kathy

[Teufelhunden]

All good posts indeed, I think it was a matter of it has been 4 years since I got out of the AMRY, and it was starting to dawn on me that I just do not have that connection with anyone anymore, the frineds I have had just do not last, or are the same quality, guess I am missing the military and have realized that part of my life is over. sniff sniff <W> lol
Teufelhunden

[Sigurd]

@ Don: Aye, like my best friend defined it once:

"There's friends; and there's people you hang around with."

[Adalwolf]

Like some others, I have a few close friends. Even then, only a few of them would I trust with my life. At the same time, not one of them is Heathen. I only know one other pagan, and he's Wiccan. I don't know a single heathen in RL, and in most cases most people haven never heard "heathen" in the religious sense, if at all. The majority of my friends are either athiest or liberal xian. I share a "You respect my beliefs and I'll respect yours" attitude with the latter and religion generally stays out of conversations.

In one case I've actually got my eye on a xian. She's one of those liberal xians, and she's told me she really doesn't care about religion. Hel, half the time she isn't even paying attention in church :thumbup: But she's moving out-of-town and we won't be going to the same school anymore after a couple of weeks. She's just gotten out of a bad relationship (which I was able to confirm) and that's all that's keeping us from going out. I've considered asking Frigg (or is it Freyja, I still don't have all the gods/goddesses down) for her help in the matter, but as of yet I'm not sure if she'd be willing to help me (although I don't see why not.).

[pinlighter]

Good luck with her Adalwolf ;)

[Don vonMilikowski]

Adalwolf, get your eye off of her, girls think that is gross..... and how did you get your eye out of its socket? Try a footrub or a back rub..... brush her hair even, don't just go putting you eyeball on people.... Even "I" would not do that, and I have some stories for you......

[Adalwolf]

Gee, thanks for the advice Don :p

(in a way that's both serious and saracastic)

Btw, I'm going to go ahead and ask either Frigg or Freya to help, but I'm not sure which one. Would I ask Freya since she's Vanir. Or, to put it flatly, which one pertains over romance? :rolleyes:

[BerserkDog]

..... it has been 4 years since I got out of the AMRY, and it was starting to dawn on me that I just do not have that connection with anyone anymore, the frineds I have had just do not last, or are the same quality, guess I am missing the military and have realized that part of my life is over. sniff sniff <W> lol
Teufelhunden

It's been 8 years since I was in the Navy. I know the feeling. Even with the "No Rel Pref" on my dog tags I had some great friends. Spread too far and wide now. Moved up here about a year ago...don't know any Heathens here...

[sigrun_odinsdottir]

You would ask Freyja for help in finding a new love, Frigga for help in marital love (unless Freyja is your patron Goddess, in which case she would help you in that area too). Trust me, I know from experience :cool:

[attak53]

It's been 9 years now since I got out of the Army and though I tried to keep in touch with the friends I had while I was in it is awfully hard with everyone being spread all of the country and a few spread all over the world. Now it seems like a Yule card every year (thanks Lonnie for this years batch, by the way great cafe-press stores) and the occasional phone call. Every couple years we might vacation near where one lives and get to hang out for a day or two but those are few and far between. Did get to see a few this past year but it wasn't a happy occasion, a friend passed over in Iraq but it was nice to share the memories of the good times we shared doing our tours together. Just remember that your past friends will always be with you, it makes it a little easier to get through some days.

[Don vonMilikowski]

Dunno about all that, I still have a few friends from before I was in the Army, Uriah Evil, Jewush Jay, Demon Dan, and Mohawk Dan - Uriah and I went in together, he just can't seem to get out- getting ready to go back to Germany (married three kids, one boy and two girls), Jay and Dan still lives here, we're just not down the street from each other anymore we still get together (both married and no kids), and Mohawk Dan (some of us never grew up) is still deprssed and mopes about in San Diego. Shoot they all still call me by my nickname from highschool, I don't think they know I have a grown-up name yet. Sometimes we lost touch, but our bonds are there....... I guess the hard streets make for better friendships, pays when you all stuck together through the good and bad. These cats we fought together, laughed together, cried together, these are my brothers.

There are a few I would like to run into again, but our paths are not meant to cross as of yet. If any of you Speed/Death/Black metal guys know a Brian Brady - Used to play guitar for a band called Master in 89 to 90 something tell him "Snake" is looking for him - it is a good thing, ain't gonna hurt one of what I considered family..... Like I told a friend the other day, I believe in Fate, but sometimes she gets too busy and you gotta nudge her along.

I know it is rough when you are out there to get back in a timely manner, but I remember how much those letters meant to me. My connection to the real world. To know people really cared about me. letters may have been sporradic thanks to the wonderful military fashion of getting letters to us, but when they came......... Mail Call was music to everyone's ears, even reading what other's girlfriends were sending them, trying to get your girlfriend to send you something naughty.......

Shoot, when my friends from school and I get together, let's just hope the cops are in a good mood and not going to arrest because we are not on our best behavior..... I am allergic to tequilla, I break out in handcuffs......

[Liffrea]

No friends, but many acquaintances. I am not solitary as such. I have one mate I see out of work for a beer now and then. I get on fine with my work colleagues and most know I am Heathen. I am generally easy going. I have no problems relating to people, I am not shy in any way. At the same time I am just as happy sitting on my own reading. Pretty much a take it or leave kind of person. I know no other Heathens in the flesh, just you folks on the board.

[nightfall]

I fall into the same boat as many here I guess[BerserkDog, Teufelhuden,attak53 & Don vonMilikowski]. Got out of the navy in 97 after doing over 8 years. Durring that time I only had 1 real friend that I would trust my life with. Lost touch after transfering to another ship. Found him again about 2 years ago, we still keep in touch by e-mail. When I was younger I never had alot of friends either, could'nt trust them it seems. We just moved out to Utah from northern Calfornia, so now I know no one except people at work. Many of them I would'nt even call acquatances. After almost 10 years out I still miss the military also.